I started 2008 with the following message to my family:
"I try to stay away from New Years Resolutions, but each year I pick one aspect of my life as my main focus for improvement. Call it a theme for the year. For instance, one year after we were married, I found that I was neglecting some friendships, so that year, my theme was friendship. As I look back in the few years I've done this, I find that my past focus "areas" are now just part of my daily life, with each year building upon the previous. So this year, I will be focusing on being happy with the life that is happening to me now. And my new year's wish to each of you is that you will find happiness in every minute!"
This theme was inspired by a quote by Earl Nightingale "Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don't wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it's at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored."
Now, as we roll into December and I start thinking about my theme for 2009, I want to take a little time to reflect on 2008's theme - have I stayed focused on being happy with the now?
I think human nature, or at least our society, makes this one a bit difficult. We are almost programmed to be seeking out the next challenge, the next goal. I know that I am extremely goal-oriented. If the trainer at the gym tells me to do 8 reps, I struggle with #7 and #8. But if she tells me to do 15, I power through #7 and #8, with the struggle hitting around #14. As I work through a project (which Larry knows may or may not ever get finished), my mind is often occupied with what the next project will be (which you may see is part of the '09 theme...).
But this year, I have really taken time to absorb each moment. Whether it was the moment Larry & I first held our precious boys after their birth (I thought this was the happiest moment of my life...how fortunate I am that the happiness keeps on coming with these two wonderful babies), or watching Nan - my 95 year old grandma - crawling around on the floor playing with William and Michael - this year, I have taken time to really think about each of these moments. I allow myself to enjoy them while they happen, allow them to imprint into my memories, and know that I will carry these events and moments with me forever.
Since I have hopes that I will be a famous writer some day and that the world will read this blog to find out more about the "true Tina", it's important that I include some other happinesses that I will remember from this year, some that are not 100% focused on my dear children (for those that know me, I could write for days on the boys...and they are typically the full focus of my posts. So to my mother, sorry that this one isn't all about your grandsons...)
I have the honor of being chosen as the Junior League of San Diego president for the 2009-2010 year. That means that this year as the president-elect, I attend training conferences throughout the country. I love to solo-travel - arrive at the airport, get checked in and through security, grab my venti non-fat latte and a trashy novel and alternate between the pages of the book and watching the people around me. And I love traveling to new places and getting a little feel for a new part of the country. So a conference in San Antonio and one in Kansas City this year have fulfilled that travel bug. It was also a true joy to spend time in KC with my cousin Jill and her wonderful family. One of the highlights of the trip was helping the kids with their homework and then watching Hanna Montana on the little kitchen TV with the 3 kids. And I'd be leaving something major out if I didn't mention the great friends I'm making at these conferences - amazing women from throughout the country with the same passion for their communities as I have here in San Diego.
And this may sound a little weird, but perhaps emphasizes the importance of finding happiness in routine events. One of the other major happy moments of this year was when my employer told me that they didn't have a position open for me upon the completion of my maternity leave. I'm not sure my heart was in returning to work, leaving my kids with a child-care provider all week long. But the part of me that had invested 16 years of my life educating myself and then developing a career and reputation in the insurance industry was a little torn. The opportunity that this lay-off presented me has been valuable by giving me some time to develop a "me" outside of the formal workplace, but beyond "just" as a mom.
Oh yes, there are certainly days that happiness in the 'now' eludes me. Larry & I have had some rough times this year in both of our families, including a very scary situation with Larry's dad's health shortly after the boys were born, and losing my Uncle Jack this fall after a long fight with leukemia. These events have served to reinforce the statement made by Mr. Nightingale "Every minute should be enjoyed and savored."
So as 2008 wraps up, my hope for the future is that I will continue living in the happiness of each moment, being happy with the now, not just hoping that the happy will come in the future. I fear that my 2009 theme will not be as 'deep' as the theme for this year. I plan to focus on finishing projects BEFORE creating and tackling new ones. This might be my toughest one yet...more on my success or struggles in about 12 months...
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Friday, November 7, 2008
Puppies and Children
This will be a quick one...but this was so surreal that I have to write it down before my memory wonders if this really happened.
Today, I took my car in for its first wash since the boys were born. While waiting an hour and a half for the detail they promised would take an hour, I had opportunity to interact with many of the local community.
The kindest of all was the elderly man with braces on both legs, walking with a cane who insisted on getting up and walking over to open the door for me at Starbucks (in and out of the store).
The strangest occurred shortly before my car was finished. We were back at the car wash waiting area, and I was giving both the boys bottles while they relaxed in the stroller. Another woman came out to wait for her car (Aside - it is 95 degrees out and she was wearing a sweatshirt, shorts and Uggs...and complaining about how hot she was). She saw us and engaged in the standard conversation I get almost daily:
She "wow, you really have your hands full"
me "Well, there are moments, but i wouldn't trade it for anything"
etc etc...until she hit me with the statement that will forever make me laugh on those days when my boys are really acting up. I must say first of all, that she said this with complete sincerity. No sarcasm whatsoever (and for those who know me, you are aware that I have a very refined sarcasm detector).
she "yeah, i know exactly what it's like to have twins. i just got two puppies."
Me "uhhhhh"!!!!!!
Today, I took my car in for its first wash since the boys were born. While waiting an hour and a half for the detail they promised would take an hour, I had opportunity to interact with many of the local community.
The kindest of all was the elderly man with braces on both legs, walking with a cane who insisted on getting up and walking over to open the door for me at Starbucks (in and out of the store).
The strangest occurred shortly before my car was finished. We were back at the car wash waiting area, and I was giving both the boys bottles while they relaxed in the stroller. Another woman came out to wait for her car (Aside - it is 95 degrees out and she was wearing a sweatshirt, shorts and Uggs...and complaining about how hot she was). She saw us and engaged in the standard conversation I get almost daily:
She "wow, you really have your hands full"
me "Well, there are moments, but i wouldn't trade it for anything"
etc etc...until she hit me with the statement that will forever make me laugh on those days when my boys are really acting up. I must say first of all, that she said this with complete sincerity. No sarcasm whatsoever (and for those who know me, you are aware that I have a very refined sarcasm detector).
she "yeah, i know exactly what it's like to have twins. i just got two puppies."
Me "uhhhhh"!!!!!!
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Is that Hand-made?
I have a very close friend who has a huge fear of becoming a parent - will she be capable of making the halloween costumes and the costumes for the school play? I, of course, understand that there are many types of parental fears and I certainly think it's fair to include this as one of them. However, I pose the following question - how much of a costume really needs to be hand-made to be considered "hand-made"?
I personally think there is a rather wide continuum. For instance - another friend has a very talented mother. Each year Granny sews an entire princess costume for her young granddaughter. I have no doubt that these are the most exquisite costumes you've ever seen on a 3 year old. And what a labor of love....possibly ending up completely covered in melted chocolate. So if my fearful friend were to buy (gasp!) a spiderman costume from the store and pair of red boots to send her hypothetical little one off as an adorable Spiderwoman, would this "count" or would she be shunned by all of the hard-sewing suburban housewives?
My little princes attended their Halloween debut this year dressed as M&Ms (William's "M" was upside down). I was frequently asked whether I made their costumes and I proudly shared that I did. And I truly believe I did - I downloaded a very tiny m&m graphic, enlarged it and smoothed out the pixels to create a template which I cut out and traced onto some white felt. once the felt was cut out, I sewed each M (or in William's case, "W") onto a green sleeveless onesie (shh...I bought that at a store). They wore the onesies over brown one-piece sweatsuits (again, purchased) which they wore for warmth - very important in San Diego...
Now I will probably win no awards as a seamstress, but one day I hope that my boys will be at least a little proud that their mom "made" their first Halloween costumes. And to my friend worrying about making her own costumes, I just say that I hope she one day has the opportunity to determine her own continuum.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Comparatively speaking
One of the longest running competitions in human nature is the "my kid did this before your kid" contest. We moms don't compete consciously. In fact, it may be our greatest intention not to brag or "compare" our children to others. However, it still happens. At lunch the other day I overheard one mom to another, both with infant strollers in tow. The first volley was simple - how old is your little one? Once established that they were within 2 months of each other, it started "Oh, I'm having such a rough time. My little Suzie just loves eating her vegetables. I feel like I am in the Gerber aisle five times a week." And then "Jimmy started crawling the other day and I am exhausted just keeping up with him." See, these moms are pretty subtle - they make it appear like they are complaining, but they are really establishing how advanced their little Jimmy and Suzie are compared to the "competition".
I've certainly caught myself doing the same thing "We've been so lucky that our boys have been sleeping through the night since they were 2 1/2 months old. But lately, they're waking up at 5:30am for a bottle before sleeping til 8:30. ugh." Ok, am I really really complaining that my kids are going to bed at 6pm and sleeping nearly 12 hours? No. I think I am probably bragging that, with the exception of a 15 minute pause, I get to sleep til 8:30!
Well, here is the problem with the comparison competition. I have twins. All the books tell you "don't compare your kids to other people's kids." Other than a few hours a week at the local cafe, I'm ok with this. Besides, I think my kids are perfect, so we would always come out on the winning side of the comparisons. But...between my two boys, who spend about 24/7 together, it is impossible to keep from comparing.
Most often, the comparisons are harmless differences. William is an observer, while Michael likes to be the center of attention. But now and again, having the two causes maternal worry and even a little internal (like inside my own head) competition.
William is way more mobile. At just past 6 months, he is already rolling across the floor (baby gates are now firmly in place), grabbing at the toys he wants (and scooting to the ones out o reach) and has exhibited some crawling moves. Michael is lazy.
Michael is way more vocal. He's been blowing rasberries and performing Flipper imitations for about 2 months now. He now wakes up to a chorus of "blah blah blah blah ba ba ba ba". William has just started the rasberries and the main time I get consonants is when he's really upset and cries "mamamamamamamama" (I refuse to believe that this is him screaming 'mama'. When they call my name for the first time, it will be with pure joy.) But mostly he just grunts as he's trying to reach for some toy or my hair.
Their pediatrician insists that they are both within "range" for their social and physical development. She agrees that Michael is a bit lazy, but doesn't think there's anything "wrong" with him. Just lazy. And she claims that it's likely that he'll shoot ahead one day just as easily as William may start reading Dr. Seuss out loud by his 3rd birthday. She also tells me to try hard not to compare them. Right.
I am pretty sure I'm going to be the mom that records the first steps of one kid, but by the time the 2nd one moves, it'll be old news. And the second "mama/dada" will just get lost in a flurry of words out of the mouth of the first talker. But I try. I try to remember when each hits a milestone. I try to encourage each of them to explore new skills and talents. And I try to be ok with one being a little faster or one being a little slower...after all, they are two different kids. I try hard not to compare, but rather to celebrate their differences and their accomplishments.
And when one is a bit slower than the other, I try to remember that they won't be babies forever, so I try hard to cherish their dependency upon me and enjoy them just being babies.
I've certainly caught myself doing the same thing "We've been so lucky that our boys have been sleeping through the night since they were 2 1/2 months old. But lately, they're waking up at 5:30am for a bottle before sleeping til 8:30. ugh." Ok, am I really really complaining that my kids are going to bed at 6pm and sleeping nearly 12 hours? No. I think I am probably bragging that, with the exception of a 15 minute pause, I get to sleep til 8:30!
Well, here is the problem with the comparison competition. I have twins. All the books tell you "don't compare your kids to other people's kids." Other than a few hours a week at the local cafe, I'm ok with this. Besides, I think my kids are perfect, so we would always come out on the winning side of the comparisons. But...between my two boys, who spend about 24/7 together, it is impossible to keep from comparing.
Most often, the comparisons are harmless differences. William is an observer, while Michael likes to be the center of attention. But now and again, having the two causes maternal worry and even a little internal (like inside my own head) competition.
William is way more mobile. At just past 6 months, he is already rolling across the floor (baby gates are now firmly in place), grabbing at the toys he wants (and scooting to the ones out o reach) and has exhibited some crawling moves. Michael is lazy.
Michael is way more vocal. He's been blowing rasberries and performing Flipper imitations for about 2 months now. He now wakes up to a chorus of "blah blah blah blah ba ba ba ba". William has just started the rasberries and the main time I get consonants is when he's really upset and cries "mamamamamamamama" (I refuse to believe that this is him screaming 'mama'. When they call my name for the first time, it will be with pure joy.) But mostly he just grunts as he's trying to reach for some toy or my hair.
Their pediatrician insists that they are both within "range" for their social and physical development. She agrees that Michael is a bit lazy, but doesn't think there's anything "wrong" with him. Just lazy. And she claims that it's likely that he'll shoot ahead one day just as easily as William may start reading Dr. Seuss out loud by his 3rd birthday. She also tells me to try hard not to compare them. Right.
I am pretty sure I'm going to be the mom that records the first steps of one kid, but by the time the 2nd one moves, it'll be old news. And the second "mama/dada" will just get lost in a flurry of words out of the mouth of the first talker. But I try. I try to remember when each hits a milestone. I try to encourage each of them to explore new skills and talents. And I try to be ok with one being a little faster or one being a little slower...after all, they are two different kids. I try hard not to compare, but rather to celebrate their differences and their accomplishments.
And when one is a bit slower than the other, I try to remember that they won't be babies forever, so I try hard to cherish their dependency upon me and enjoy them just being babies.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Bibs should all be green
first published 9/4/08
Or...Why baby mouths should come with a funnel attachment.
We started solids today. Although how they can call that green goup "solid" is rather beyond me. And I guess if you want to be technical, we started the boys on cereal a couple weeks ago. But I digress. Today, we tried GREEN BEANS! Here's how this story begins:
When the boys had their 4-month checkup, the Doctor gave us permission to get going with "solids", starting with cereal. At 5-6 months, we were supposed to start adding vegetables if the boys were interested. What...was I expecting them to start jumping up and down shouting "hey mom, give me some mashed up peas!"??
Cereal went pretty well. I mean, I doubt they would have been too bummed if I left it out of the menu, and they really still prefer their bottles in case of tantrum, but it didn't suck. So yesterday, a couple days before their 5-month 'birthday' and feeling a bit confident, I was at the store and decided to at least purchase some of the stage-1 vegetables.
My first observation is this - these little containers are tiny. The baby-food people should take a lesson from the wine people. A moment earlier, when I was in the wine department, they had a handy reusable 6-pack wine carrier...and if I filled it up, I got 10% off my purchase. Well, you can bet I filled that up! So that's what they should do with these little baby food jars - give me some sort of larger receptacle for gathering up the little tiny jars. In fact, make it some sort of receptacle that not only helps me keep the jars together in my shopping cart, but make it fit right into my pantry. As it stands, I can't quite figure out how one is to store these little things, so they're living on my kitchen counter...along with all the other detritus of twin life.
Before I loaded up my 10 little tiny packages of baby food (2 packages each of 5 veggies...and unlike the baby food of my past, these come in handy little 2-packs of plastic containers which will probably start multiplying in landfills and 10,000 years from now, someone will say "and they called this 'solid food'?"), I took one moment to contemplate whether it would be better (I don't know how to define 'better') if I were to make my own baby food. That moment passed quite quickly, and into the shopping cart they fell.
So today, we gave it a shot. Morning naps went quite well and I had the boys on opposite schedules today so that I could spend some quality time with each one individually. I was feeling quite daring, and my nanny had done all the baby laundry yesterday, so I was flush with bibs. Michael was first to get up, and he was pretty cheerful, so I wouldn't have to go straight to the bottle. I gave him one teaspoon full of green beans (the teaspoon from the silverware drawer, not the cooking gadgets...I don't know how accurate a "teaspoon" it really is), and he happily ate the entire bowlful. At the first bite, I did get a little look that said to me "ummm...really Mom? you think I'm going to like this?", but then after some lick smacking, I think he decided it was OK. At least good enough to stick his hand in his mouth to grab some to save for later.
Or...Why baby mouths should come with a funnel attachment.
We started solids today. Although how they can call that green goup "solid" is rather beyond me. And I guess if you want to be technical, we started the boys on cereal a couple weeks ago. But I digress. Today, we tried GREEN BEANS! Here's how this story begins:
When the boys had their 4-month checkup, the Doctor gave us permission to get going with "solids", starting with cereal. At 5-6 months, we were supposed to start adding vegetables if the boys were interested. What...was I expecting them to start jumping up and down shouting "hey mom, give me some mashed up peas!"??
Cereal went pretty well. I mean, I doubt they would have been too bummed if I left it out of the menu, and they really still prefer their bottles in case of tantrum, but it didn't suck. So yesterday, a couple days before their 5-month 'birthday' and feeling a bit confident, I was at the store and decided to at least purchase some of the stage-1 vegetables.
My first observation is this - these little containers are tiny. The baby-food people should take a lesson from the wine people. A moment earlier, when I was in the wine department, they had a handy reusable 6-pack wine carrier...and if I filled it up, I got 10% off my purchase. Well, you can bet I filled that up! So that's what they should do with these little baby food jars - give me some sort of larger receptacle for gathering up the little tiny jars. In fact, make it some sort of receptacle that not only helps me keep the jars together in my shopping cart, but make it fit right into my pantry. As it stands, I can't quite figure out how one is to store these little things, so they're living on my kitchen counter...along with all the other detritus of twin life.
Before I loaded up my 10 little tiny packages of baby food (2 packages each of 5 veggies...and unlike the baby food of my past, these come in handy little 2-packs of plastic containers which will probably start multiplying in landfills and 10,000 years from now, someone will say "and they called this 'solid food'?"), I took one moment to contemplate whether it would be better (I don't know how to define 'better') if I were to make my own baby food. That moment passed quite quickly, and into the shopping cart they fell.
So today, we gave it a shot. Morning naps went quite well and I had the boys on opposite schedules today so that I could spend some quality time with each one individually. I was feeling quite daring, and my nanny had done all the baby laundry yesterday, so I was flush with bibs. Michael was first to get up, and he was pretty cheerful, so I wouldn't have to go straight to the bottle. I gave him one teaspoon full of green beans (the teaspoon from the silverware drawer, not the cooking gadgets...I don't know how accurate a "teaspoon" it really is), and he happily ate the entire bowlful. At the first bite, I did get a little look that said to me "ummm...really Mom? you think I'm going to like this?", but then after some lick smacking, I think he decided it was OK. At least good enough to stick his hand in his mouth to grab some to save for later.
William was next. While I was dishing up his portion, I sang a bit of the "my dog Lima loves to roam, one day Lima left his home. he came back so nice and clean. where oh where has Lima Been?" song which always makes him giggle. Then he practically devoured his bowl of beans. The pictures don't show that he's as happy as Michael, but he's smaller, so he takes his eating very very seriously. Once the beans were gone, he went straight to the bottle of formula and downed that in mere minutes. The boy wants to grow!
Well, after feeding the babies their green beans, their bibs were covered in green-ness...yuck! But a wise woman (my mother) suggested that I try soaking them in some Oxy-clean. (I have been fortunate, up to this point, that I have not needed the magical powers of Oxy. The only blow-out we've had resulted in a not quite fitting anymore outfit being thrown right into the trash at Children's Hospital). So in the time it's taken to write this entry, the bibs are back to their original colors. Green Bibs will not be necessary today.
Well, after feeding the babies their green beans, their bibs were covered in green-ness...yuck! But a wise woman (my mother) suggested that I try soaking them in some Oxy-clean. (I have been fortunate, up to this point, that I have not needed the magical powers of Oxy. The only blow-out we've had resulted in a not quite fitting anymore outfit being thrown right into the trash at Children's Hospital). So in the time it's taken to write this entry, the bibs are back to their original colors. Green Bibs will not be necessary today.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Shake Rattle and Roll
first published 8/12/08
On my recent trip to Green Bay, my 5 1/2 year old cousin Brayden was investigating the "little cottage" with Katie (my cousin Justin's fiancee). He was very curious about where one would go if there were a tornado (no basement). Hmmm...good question. Katie's response was to "stop, drop and roll". This same response was used a couple weeks ago on a TV talk show following an earthquake we had out here. So clearly this rolling business has many purposes, real or otherwise.
However, I propose that rolling is not so fun and exciting when performed by a 4month old (William). Ok, it's cute when he rolls over when we're all playing on the floor. It's even a little cute when he's frustrated at the end of his nap and flips over. When it is NOT cute, though, is at the beginning of the nap OR at 2:30am!
For a few weeks now, William has been accidentally rolling from tummy to back now and then. He had been so good at the sleeping through the night up to when he started this new experiment. Now, if he flips over, he freaks out and screams until one of us puts him back where he belongs. This is the "mommy, if you don't come in here right now, I'm pretty sure my head is going to blow up" scream, not his cute little "waaa, waaa, if you come to see me, I'll probably be pretty happy but if you don't, I'll probably just go to sleep, waaa, waaa" fuss.
For today's afternoon nap, he was definitely ready to sleep...he fell asleep with all of 20 seconds of fuss. But about 45 minutes into the nap, the screams started. So I hurried upstairs and flipped him back onto his tummy, returning downstairs to get a little email time in.
Not 2 minutes later, it started again. This time, though, he wasn't all the way on his back, but curled up on his side, with his thumb securely in mouth, sucking away. Ok, I'm a little lost here - don't most people LIKE sleeping on their sides? And imagine you are a little baby...what better way to sleep than on your side with your thumb securely in your mouth, sucking away. What is all the fuss about, William!?!
I guess the silver lining is that at least they're not BOTH doing this on a regular basis (Michael has flipped a few times, but not with the daily consistency of William). And sooner or later, he'll be flipping in both directions and pulling himself up on the rails of the crib...then I'll have a whole new freak-out on my hands...
On my recent trip to Green Bay, my 5 1/2 year old cousin Brayden was investigating the "little cottage" with Katie (my cousin Justin's fiancee). He was very curious about where one would go if there were a tornado (no basement). Hmmm...good question. Katie's response was to "stop, drop and roll". This same response was used a couple weeks ago on a TV talk show following an earthquake we had out here. So clearly this rolling business has many purposes, real or otherwise.
However, I propose that rolling is not so fun and exciting when performed by a 4month old (William). Ok, it's cute when he rolls over when we're all playing on the floor. It's even a little cute when he's frustrated at the end of his nap and flips over. When it is NOT cute, though, is at the beginning of the nap OR at 2:30am!
For a few weeks now, William has been accidentally rolling from tummy to back now and then. He had been so good at the sleeping through the night up to when he started this new experiment. Now, if he flips over, he freaks out and screams until one of us puts him back where he belongs. This is the "mommy, if you don't come in here right now, I'm pretty sure my head is going to blow up" scream, not his cute little "waaa, waaa, if you come to see me, I'll probably be pretty happy but if you don't, I'll probably just go to sleep, waaa, waaa" fuss.
For today's afternoon nap, he was definitely ready to sleep...he fell asleep with all of 20 seconds of fuss. But about 45 minutes into the nap, the screams started. So I hurried upstairs and flipped him back onto his tummy, returning downstairs to get a little email time in.
Not 2 minutes later, it started again. This time, though, he wasn't all the way on his back, but curled up on his side, with his thumb securely in mouth, sucking away. Ok, I'm a little lost here - don't most people LIKE sleeping on their sides? And imagine you are a little baby...what better way to sleep than on your side with your thumb securely in your mouth, sucking away. What is all the fuss about, William!?!
I guess the silver lining is that at least they're not BOTH doing this on a regular basis (Michael has flipped a few times, but not with the daily consistency of William). And sooner or later, he'll be flipping in both directions and pulling himself up on the rails of the crib...then I'll have a whole new freak-out on my hands...
Monday, August 4, 2008
4 months old today!
first publshed 8/4/08
Well, who can believe that 4 months have gone by since William and Michael joined our world! They are growing so quickly...I have to sit down daily just to appreciate all their little baby-isms.
Last week, Michael started experimenting with a new lip-smacking, sucking activity. Larry thinks it is just like sucking on a bottle. I prefer to think he's practicing blowing me kisses. Just yesterday, he found his voice. And this truly happened: I was playing with him and said "are you the cutest baby on the planet?" and he replied (loudly) "ah haaaa." Larry was in the other room and thought I had answered my own question. but for the rest of the day, Michael entertained us with laughing, and different voice patterns. This is really cute, but he's starting to try to "talk" instead of nap, which William doesn't love.
Speaking of William, he's still a bit quieter, but loves to smile and giggle now and then. His favorite new skill is holding on tight...to anything - his snuggly blanket, his shirt, carseat buckles, my hair... He's always got something in his hands, unless of course, he has his hands stuffed into his mouth, another favorite activity. During his nap this noon, he was smacking away so loudly on his thumb that I thought he'd wake Michael (who had finally given up his conversation with himself).
They're also both enjoying "sitting up". they particularly like sitting on our laps, sometimes facing out, sometimes facing us. They also have been entertained sitting together on the recliner - when they do that, they are always holding hands - cute!
We go to the doctor this week for the 4 month checkup...we're hoping that we'll get to add some solid foods to the menu. It may get messy, but should make for some good stories! High chairs are set up and ready to go :)
Well, who can believe that 4 months have gone by since William and Michael joined our world! They are growing so quickly...I have to sit down daily just to appreciate all their little baby-isms.
Last week, Michael started experimenting with a new lip-smacking, sucking activity. Larry thinks it is just like sucking on a bottle. I prefer to think he's practicing blowing me kisses. Just yesterday, he found his voice. And this truly happened: I was playing with him and said "are you the cutest baby on the planet?" and he replied (loudly) "ah haaaa." Larry was in the other room and thought I had answered my own question. but for the rest of the day, Michael entertained us with laughing, and different voice patterns. This is really cute, but he's starting to try to "talk" instead of nap, which William doesn't love.
Speaking of William, he's still a bit quieter, but loves to smile and giggle now and then. His favorite new skill is holding on tight...to anything - his snuggly blanket, his shirt, carseat buckles, my hair... He's always got something in his hands, unless of course, he has his hands stuffed into his mouth, another favorite activity. During his nap this noon, he was smacking away so loudly on his thumb that I thought he'd wake Michael (who had finally given up his conversation with himself).
They're also both enjoying "sitting up". they particularly like sitting on our laps, sometimes facing out, sometimes facing us. They also have been entertained sitting together on the recliner - when they do that, they are always holding hands - cute!
We go to the doctor this week for the 4 month checkup...we're hoping that we'll get to add some solid foods to the menu. It may get messy, but should make for some good stories! High chairs are set up and ready to go :)
Monday, July 28, 2008
Shall the 10:00 rule become the 6:00 rule?
First published 7/28/08
It's 6:45pm, do I know where my kids are? Happily, in the same place they are each night at this hour - sleeping soundly in their cribs! Recently, I wrote of our dream of a long, dream-filled night. We now are hitting that objective about 75% of the time. Most nights, the boys are in bed by 6pm and they stay that way until about 6-7am. Now, I don't want all the new moms to be too jealous. Some nights, one or both of them will wake around 4-5am and will experiment with volume until we fetch them and sooth them with a small bottle. But hey, 6am! Most nights! (again, the college roommates may weigh in when they see that 6am is a good wake-up time for me now...not noon!)
Not only that, but they're getting better at napping, and on a normal day when we're at home the whole day, I can usually count on about 6-9 hours (not straight, mind you, but nonetheless...) of free time. Of course, with all this free time, you might expect that I'd be much more organized, but I am so used to being busy with the babies, that I just don't know what to do with all this extra time! (I am wondering how long I can use that excuse before I need to start catching up with the laundry and organizing our bonus room...)
In the last week though, we have a threat to our newfound freedom - baby boys and their diapers! One of our tricks to the night-sleeping is that they are now sleeping on their tummies which is much more 'natural' for the babies. So, picture this - baby boy is on his tummy for 12 hours, and this baby boy is from the "land of lotsapeepee". This boy is also growing quickly, so is on the diaper size border once again, between a 2 and a 3! Well, it may not be frogs and snails and puppy dog tails, but it is sure a baby boy recipe for a mess with no obvious solution.
Last night, we tried just using a larger sized diaper. It got us to about 4am. Tonight, I'm trying another (more expensive) solution - a size 2 diaper with a size 3 diaper over it. A part of me wants this to work, but the pocketbook part of me thinks there must be a cheaper solution. Apparently when they get a little bigger, there are nighttime diapers, but at their current size, "they" don't want them sleeping on their tummies, so there's not much economic purpose for the "diaper-theys" to make smaller nighttimes. And according to Nonnie Connie, when we were little, you could get rubber covers for over the disposable diapers. Do these still exist???
So my quest continues for the consistent full night sleep...In the meantime, I am not revising the house's 9:00 rule. Unless the California Lottery is calling, I'm still not answering the phone before 9am...that's our 1st naptime!
It's 6:45pm, do I know where my kids are? Happily, in the same place they are each night at this hour - sleeping soundly in their cribs! Recently, I wrote of our dream of a long, dream-filled night. We now are hitting that objective about 75% of the time. Most nights, the boys are in bed by 6pm and they stay that way until about 6-7am. Now, I don't want all the new moms to be too jealous. Some nights, one or both of them will wake around 4-5am and will experiment with volume until we fetch them and sooth them with a small bottle. But hey, 6am! Most nights! (again, the college roommates may weigh in when they see that 6am is a good wake-up time for me now...not noon!)
Not only that, but they're getting better at napping, and on a normal day when we're at home the whole day, I can usually count on about 6-9 hours (not straight, mind you, but nonetheless...) of free time. Of course, with all this free time, you might expect that I'd be much more organized, but I am so used to being busy with the babies, that I just don't know what to do with all this extra time! (I am wondering how long I can use that excuse before I need to start catching up with the laundry and organizing our bonus room...)
In the last week though, we have a threat to our newfound freedom - baby boys and their diapers! One of our tricks to the night-sleeping is that they are now sleeping on their tummies which is much more 'natural' for the babies. So, picture this - baby boy is on his tummy for 12 hours, and this baby boy is from the "land of lotsapeepee". This boy is also growing quickly, so is on the diaper size border once again, between a 2 and a 3! Well, it may not be frogs and snails and puppy dog tails, but it is sure a baby boy recipe for a mess with no obvious solution.
Last night, we tried just using a larger sized diaper. It got us to about 4am. Tonight, I'm trying another (more expensive) solution - a size 2 diaper with a size 3 diaper over it. A part of me wants this to work, but the pocketbook part of me thinks there must be a cheaper solution. Apparently when they get a little bigger, there are nighttime diapers, but at their current size, "they" don't want them sleeping on their tummies, so there's not much economic purpose for the "diaper-theys" to make smaller nighttimes. And according to Nonnie Connie, when we were little, you could get rubber covers for over the disposable diapers. Do these still exist???
So my quest continues for the consistent full night sleep...In the meantime, I am not revising the house's 9:00 rule. Unless the California Lottery is calling, I'm still not answering the phone before 9am...that's our 1st naptime!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Snuggle bugs
first published 7/24/08
Ask most moms of boys and they will tell you that boys love to snuggle with their moms. Girls are apparently more independent, and we all know that girls get their dads wrapped around their fingers, so little boys are a mom's dream.
My dear boys are not much different than most boys in this regard, but they've taken different paths to snuggle-land.
Michael has always loved to be held tight, tummy to tummy, with his arms and legs bundled in tightly. When we first got home from the hospital, the only way to get him to sleep was in a very tight swaddle (and our little Houdini was good at getting out of the blanket-swaddles, so we only had success with the velcro swaddle sacks). Now, he sleeps on his tummy, with his arms and legs tucked tightly under his body. But when I hold him, pure bliss - he nestles his head into my neck, with his arms on either side of his cheeks, brings his legs up and settles his little bottom right onto my arm. Typically, within about 15 seconds, he is sound asleep. Now and then, I'll get a little shudder out of him, and on a perfect day, a happy little sigh. He is the one to grab when you're feeling a little sad...he will guarantee to comfort you.
William didn't start out his life craving the snuggle the way his mommy would like him too. The way he sees it, there is just too much out there in the world to look at, so why would you want your face planted on mom's shoulder. He likes to sit on my lap, but wants to face out so he doesn't miss a thing. But today, something amazing happened. We were at Mama Mia (I could go on for an entire different entry about how great the Mommy Movie Morning is, and in particular how much we enjoyed today's movie), and as predicted, as soon as the music started, Michael fell asleep and William started dancing on my lap. Toward the end of the movie, though, he started getting tired and fussy. So like any wise parent at Mommy Movie Morning, I gathered him up to go "dance" in the back of the theatre with the other fussy babies and their mommies (today there were quite a few - who knew Abba would be so offensive to little ones). I tucked his arms and legs in trying to get him to settle down to sleep. This is where the miracle happened - he pulled his head back, gave me a huge smile and then nuzzled into my neck. THEN he pulled his arms out of the snuggle, wrapped them up around my neck, sighed and fell right to sleep.
Fortunately for me and my sleeping angel, the cast keeps singing as the credits roll...we could have danced (and slept) all night!
Ask most moms of boys and they will tell you that boys love to snuggle with their moms. Girls are apparently more independent, and we all know that girls get their dads wrapped around their fingers, so little boys are a mom's dream.
My dear boys are not much different than most boys in this regard, but they've taken different paths to snuggle-land.
Michael has always loved to be held tight, tummy to tummy, with his arms and legs bundled in tightly. When we first got home from the hospital, the only way to get him to sleep was in a very tight swaddle (and our little Houdini was good at getting out of the blanket-swaddles, so we only had success with the velcro swaddle sacks). Now, he sleeps on his tummy, with his arms and legs tucked tightly under his body. But when I hold him, pure bliss - he nestles his head into my neck, with his arms on either side of his cheeks, brings his legs up and settles his little bottom right onto my arm. Typically, within about 15 seconds, he is sound asleep. Now and then, I'll get a little shudder out of him, and on a perfect day, a happy little sigh. He is the one to grab when you're feeling a little sad...he will guarantee to comfort you.
William didn't start out his life craving the snuggle the way his mommy would like him too. The way he sees it, there is just too much out there in the world to look at, so why would you want your face planted on mom's shoulder. He likes to sit on my lap, but wants to face out so he doesn't miss a thing. But today, something amazing happened. We were at Mama Mia (I could go on for an entire different entry about how great the Mommy Movie Morning is, and in particular how much we enjoyed today's movie), and as predicted, as soon as the music started, Michael fell asleep and William started dancing on my lap. Toward the end of the movie, though, he started getting tired and fussy. So like any wise parent at Mommy Movie Morning, I gathered him up to go "dance" in the back of the theatre with the other fussy babies and their mommies (today there were quite a few - who knew Abba would be so offensive to little ones). I tucked his arms and legs in trying to get him to settle down to sleep. This is where the miracle happened - he pulled his head back, gave me a huge smile and then nuzzled into my neck. THEN he pulled his arms out of the snuggle, wrapped them up around my neck, sighed and fell right to sleep.
Fortunately for me and my sleeping angel, the cast keeps singing as the credits roll...we could have danced (and slept) all night!
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Fly me to the moon (7/19/08)
first published 7/19/08
It's every business traveler's nightmare: You board the plane early, anxious to get settled into your first class seat and enjoy a quiet cup of coffee and the Wall Street Journal while the rest of the masses are boarding. You approach your seat in the final row of first class, casting a condescending glance into the coach cabin. And thus begins the nightmare, for there in the first row of coach is the mom traveling alone with her baby. But worse - this time there are TWO babies.
Well, that is how I was greeted this morning by a "gentleman" flying in the first class cabin of my flight from Minneapolis to San Diego. He got onto the plane, looked back and saw me with William AND Michael, and said "Oh this is just great". Now, I'm sure he thought he was saying it way under his breath, but hey, I'm a new mom - I hear everything!
I sure showed him - my boys were perfect. And that is not just a bragging mom talking. They slept most of the time (Michael got the carseat this time and William was in my arms). When they were awake, they smiled, giggled and gurgled at all the appropriate moments. They flirted with the flight attendants and they smiled nicely when the man next to us helped get bottles from the diaper bag.
And although exhausted from waking up at 4:15am, I arrived in San Diego feeling if not refreshed, then at least relaxed. This was definitely thanks to all the kind people who offered assistance along the way. The TSA staff in Green Bay was so patient and helpful, helping with our huge stroller, and organizing all the mountains of baby gear that has to be checked through the x-ray. The gate agent in Green Bay walked me all the way onto the plane, carrying the carseat (with William at this point) and hooking it into the plane. And in Minneapolis, an off-duty flight attendant (and grandma) helped feed Michael in the airport and then helped me board and get settled in (and all this incidentally before she settled into her first class seat...). Of course, there was also our new friend John, traveling to San Diego with his wife for a weekend vacation. He talked to the boys, kept an eye on Michael when William & I went off for a diaper change, and even fed William when both he and Michael needed a bottle "right at this very minute and Mom, if you wait just a split-second, we will both be screaming at the top of our somewhat small lungs".
So to all you travelers out there, business or otherwise - next time you see a mom (or a dad) struggling to keep her kids calm and entertained on a flight, rather than "ugh" at her, offer a hand, or at least a sympathetic smile. The more help and understanding she gets from fellow-passengers, the more likely she will be to stay calm and keep her kids happy. Now, I of course don't expect her kids to be as perfect as mine, but you will certainly help her dream that perfection is a possibility :)
Here's crossing my fingers that our Christmas flights will be as smooth...
It's every business traveler's nightmare: You board the plane early, anxious to get settled into your first class seat and enjoy a quiet cup of coffee and the Wall Street Journal while the rest of the masses are boarding. You approach your seat in the final row of first class, casting a condescending glance into the coach cabin. And thus begins the nightmare, for there in the first row of coach is the mom traveling alone with her baby. But worse - this time there are TWO babies.
Well, that is how I was greeted this morning by a "gentleman" flying in the first class cabin of my flight from Minneapolis to San Diego. He got onto the plane, looked back and saw me with William AND Michael, and said "Oh this is just great". Now, I'm sure he thought he was saying it way under his breath, but hey, I'm a new mom - I hear everything!
I sure showed him - my boys were perfect. And that is not just a bragging mom talking. They slept most of the time (Michael got the carseat this time and William was in my arms). When they were awake, they smiled, giggled and gurgled at all the appropriate moments. They flirted with the flight attendants and they smiled nicely when the man next to us helped get bottles from the diaper bag.
And although exhausted from waking up at 4:15am, I arrived in San Diego feeling if not refreshed, then at least relaxed. This was definitely thanks to all the kind people who offered assistance along the way. The TSA staff in Green Bay was so patient and helpful, helping with our huge stroller, and organizing all the mountains of baby gear that has to be checked through the x-ray. The gate agent in Green Bay walked me all the way onto the plane, carrying the carseat (with William at this point) and hooking it into the plane. And in Minneapolis, an off-duty flight attendant (and grandma) helped feed Michael in the airport and then helped me board and get settled in (and all this incidentally before she settled into her first class seat...). Of course, there was also our new friend John, traveling to San Diego with his wife for a weekend vacation. He talked to the boys, kept an eye on Michael when William & I went off for a diaper change, and even fed William when both he and Michael needed a bottle "right at this very minute and Mom, if you wait just a split-second, we will both be screaming at the top of our somewhat small lungs".
So to all you travelers out there, business or otherwise - next time you see a mom (or a dad) struggling to keep her kids calm and entertained on a flight, rather than "ugh" at her, offer a hand, or at least a sympathetic smile. The more help and understanding she gets from fellow-passengers, the more likely she will be to stay calm and keep her kids happy. Now, I of course don't expect her kids to be as perfect as mine, but you will certainly help her dream that perfection is a possibility :)
Here's crossing my fingers that our Christmas flights will be as smooth...
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Sleep Deprivation (6/24/08)
first published on 6/24/08:
So as a parent of twins, I find that most conversations involve some query about the amount of sleep we are getting. People tend to think that anything more than 3 hours straight is miraculous. I, on the other hand, think this is nuts. (Ask my college roommates or my husband - I don't do well with lack of sleep.) So since the day that the boys turned 2 months, we have been lucky, I guess. They had been going to bed around 8-9:00 and waking to eat about every 3 hours til 6-7am. At their 2 month checkup, the pediatrician suggested putting them to bed at 7pm. That night, they both slept til about 5:30am! We've stuck w/ the 7pm bedtime and have had mixed results. Most nights, they will sleep about 7-8 hours, eat and then sleep the rest of the night til about 7. However, recently, they have slept til 4am and then won't go back to sleep.
On top of that, they are pretty inconsistent with their daytime naps (which probably has something to do with nighttime sleep patterns...). All in all, I am not nearly as productive as I'd like to be. Ok, I know I've got 2 babies to handle, so no one really expects too high a level of productivity, but I would like to actually complete a couple loads of laundry every now and then - I'm not talking diving into Crime & Punishment or anything...my needs are few.
Now back to that part about me and my need for sleep... I get my best sleep from about 4am-7am. I could wake up every hour in the middle of the night hours and be fine as long as I can sleep from 4-7. So you might imagine (with sympathy to Larry) how crabby I've been recently.
Well, I am hoping that the end is in sight - at our pediatrician's suggestion, we're hiring a sleep consultant (oh yes, you can get a consultant for just about every baby "issue" - baby won't eat, get a feeding consultant; baby won't smile for pictures, a modeling consultant; baby won't play with the $100 set of organic, hand painted baby blocks, I'm sure there's a playtime consultant). We've got our live session with her this evening and then some follow-up by phone. I'm so excited I can hardly stand it. The idea of a whole night sleep, regularly, without having to ship the kids off to China ...worth every penny!
Daydreaming of the land of Nod....
So as a parent of twins, I find that most conversations involve some query about the amount of sleep we are getting. People tend to think that anything more than 3 hours straight is miraculous. I, on the other hand, think this is nuts. (Ask my college roommates or my husband - I don't do well with lack of sleep.) So since the day that the boys turned 2 months, we have been lucky, I guess. They had been going to bed around 8-9:00 and waking to eat about every 3 hours til 6-7am. At their 2 month checkup, the pediatrician suggested putting them to bed at 7pm. That night, they both slept til about 5:30am! We've stuck w/ the 7pm bedtime and have had mixed results. Most nights, they will sleep about 7-8 hours, eat and then sleep the rest of the night til about 7. However, recently, they have slept til 4am and then won't go back to sleep.
On top of that, they are pretty inconsistent with their daytime naps (which probably has something to do with nighttime sleep patterns...). All in all, I am not nearly as productive as I'd like to be. Ok, I know I've got 2 babies to handle, so no one really expects too high a level of productivity, but I would like to actually complete a couple loads of laundry every now and then - I'm not talking diving into Crime & Punishment or anything...my needs are few.
Now back to that part about me and my need for sleep... I get my best sleep from about 4am-7am. I could wake up every hour in the middle of the night hours and be fine as long as I can sleep from 4-7. So you might imagine (with sympathy to Larry) how crabby I've been recently.
Well, I am hoping that the end is in sight - at our pediatrician's suggestion, we're hiring a sleep consultant (oh yes, you can get a consultant for just about every baby "issue" - baby won't eat, get a feeding consultant; baby won't smile for pictures, a modeling consultant; baby won't play with the $100 set of organic, hand painted baby blocks, I'm sure there's a playtime consultant). We've got our live session with her this evening and then some follow-up by phone. I'm so excited I can hardly stand it. The idea of a whole night sleep, regularly, without having to ship the kids off to China ...worth every penny!
Daydreaming of the land of Nod....
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