Thanksgiving reflections

I started 2008 with the following message to my family:

"I try to stay away from New Years Resolutions, but each year I pick one aspect of my life as my main focus for improvement. Call it a theme for the year. For instance, one year after we were married, I found that I was neglecting some friendships, so that year, my theme was friendship. As I look back in the few years I've done this, I find that my past focus "areas" are now just part of my daily life, with each year building upon the previous. So this year, I will be focusing on being happy with the life that is happening to me now. And my new year's wish to each of you is that you will find happiness in every minute!"

This theme was inspired by a quote by Earl Nightingale "Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don't wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it's at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored."

Now, as we roll into December and I start thinking about my theme for 2009, I want to take a little time to reflect on 2008's theme - have I stayed focused on being happy with the now?

I think human nature, or at least our society, makes this one a bit difficult. We are almost programmed to be seeking out the next challenge, the next goal. I know that I am extremely goal-oriented. If the trainer at the gym tells me to do 8 reps, I struggle with #7 and #8. But if she tells me to do 15, I power through #7 and #8, with the struggle hitting around #14. As I work through a project (which Larry knows may or may not ever get finished), my mind is often occupied with what the next project will be (which you may see is part of the '09 theme...).

But this year, I have really taken time to absorb each moment. Whether it was the moment Larry & I first held our precious boys after their birth (I thought this was the happiest moment of my life...how fortunate I am that the happiness keeps on coming with these two wonderful babies), or watching Nan - my 95 year old grandma - crawling around on the floor playing with William and Michael - this year, I have taken time to really think about each of these moments. I allow myself to enjoy them while they happen, allow them to imprint into my memories, and know that I will carry these events and moments with me forever.

Since I have hopes that I will be a famous writer some day and that the world will read this blog to find out more about the "true Tina", it's important that I include some other happinesses that I will remember from this year, some that are not 100% focused on my dear children (for those that know me, I could write for days on the boys...and they are typically the full focus of my posts. So to my mother, sorry that this one isn't all about your grandsons...)

I have the honor of being chosen as the Junior League of San Diego president for the 2009-2010 year. That means that this year as the president-elect, I attend training conferences throughout the country. I love to solo-travel - arrive at the airport, get checked in and through security, grab my venti non-fat latte and a trashy novel and alternate between the pages of the book and watching the people around me. And I love traveling to new places and getting a little feel for a new part of the country. So a conference in San Antonio and one in Kansas City this year have fulfilled that travel bug. It was also a true joy to spend time in KC with my cousin Jill and her wonderful family. One of the highlights of the trip was helping the kids with their homework and then watching Hanna Montana on the little kitchen TV with the 3 kids. And I'd be leaving something major out if I didn't mention the great friends I'm making at these conferences - amazing women from throughout the country with the same passion for their communities as I have here in San Diego.

And this may sound a little weird, but perhaps emphasizes the importance of finding happiness in routine events. One of the other major happy moments of this year was when my employer told me that they didn't have a position open for me upon the completion of my maternity leave. I'm not sure my heart was in returning to work, leaving my kids with a child-care provider all week long. But the part of me that had invested 16 years of my life educating myself and then developing a career and reputation in the insurance industry was a little torn. The opportunity that this lay-off presented me has been valuable by giving me some time to develop a "me" outside of the formal workplace, but beyond "just" as a mom.

Oh yes, there are certainly days that happiness in the 'now' eludes me. Larry & I have had some rough times this year in both of our families, including a very scary situation with Larry's dad's health shortly after the boys were born, and losing my Uncle Jack this fall after a long fight with leukemia. These events have served to reinforce the statement made by Mr. Nightingale "Every minute should be enjoyed and savored."

So as 2008 wraps up, my hope for the future is that I will continue living in the happiness of each moment, being happy with the now, not just hoping that the happy will come in the future. I fear that my 2009 theme will not be as 'deep' as the theme for this year. I plan to focus on finishing projects BEFORE creating and tackling new ones. This might be my toughest one yet...more on my success or struggles in about 12 months...